Adieu 20s

I turn 30 in 5 days! I can’t believe how quickly that happened. If you had asked me 5 years ago, maybe even a year or two ago, where I saw myself at 30, it certainly wouldn’t be where I am now. And by that, I mean: back home with no job, a mountain of student loans, no bae or prospects (although I’m not even mad about this part). I would have said that at the very least, I would have a fulfilling career, be making good money, have an active social life, and traveling/planning trips to places on my bucket list. But alas, that’s not where I am and it doesn’t feel like I’m getting any closer and on hard days it feels like a pipe dream. These last 2 years have been so unpredictable that I find myself hesitating to make plans or envisioning what I want the next few years of my life to look like. If these past couple of years have taught me anything, it’s that life doesn’t go according to plan no matter how much you prepare, strategize, hope, wish, pray; sometimes you still end up being blindsided and caught completely off guard.

That being said, I am ready to say goodbye to my 20s – there were some challenging years and some exciting ones. And through all the experiences – the good, the bad and the ugly – I learned a lot about myself. I was tested and stretched to the point where I thought I would finally snap, but apparently there is still more stretch left in me. I like to think I have become a better person, that I’m more confident in who I am, I know what I want and where I want to be and what I want from life. The only thing that needs to be figured out is the how. Although I’ve learnt that I don’t need to figure out the how, I just need to leave it in God’s hands. He’s the Alpha and Omega, He knows the end from the beginning and He knew every step I would take, every stage of life I would go through and He has good plans for me. He promises to do exceedingly, abundantly above what I could ever think of or imagine and I have some big dreams and a very active imagination. I just need to keep doing what I have to, play my part, listen for His direction and instruction and obey. It’s not always easy – actually it’s rarely easy, one because I’m a planner by nature, I need details, I need a plan B through Z in case A falls through. And it’s especially difficult on days when you get the past due notices for your bills, or when yet another job application falls into that big black hole or you get an email that says they gave the position to someone else, or you can’t contribute to support your family and have to sit and watch helplessly. But on those days, I remind myself of the fact that God is working all things (the good and bad) together for my good and although He might be silent, He’s ever present because He promised to always to there with me. As long as there’s life, there’s hope. So, I will count my blessings and be grateful for what I do have. I will hold my head high and believe that my best days are still ahead of me. I will welcome 30 with open arms because it’s going to be FABULOUS!

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